I’m sitting here in my room drinking hot cocoa from a bowl (nihonjin style) listening to Phoenix’s Lasso track. It’s simply amazing how Pandora seems to always know what song to play in accordance (?) to your mood. I know that’s kinda like a “duh” statement because you choose what artist station you want to listen to, but what I mean is how out of all the kajillion-fafillion songs it could have played, it played Lasso. “Forever is a long, long time when you’ve lost your way//Trying to follow your ideal”. I took this particular line to heart because the past few days I actually felt like I’m not going to amount to anything in life. Sure, I’ll get my college degree but I still have to try to get into grad school – which is going to be possibly the toughest thing I’ll ever have to try for. I crumble easily under pressure (not peer pressure, so don’t waste your time) and I most likely suffer high amount of anxiety…and I’m pretty sure this is directly proportional to my abnormally high blood pressure. Anyways going back to the lyric, I feel like my 5 years in college has been forever because I’ve been trying to graduate with a high GPA in the kinesiology field. It also feels like forever because I have so many Wants – as in, I want to become a cyclist, I want to design a few clothing pieces, I want to become an OT, I want to live in Japan, I want to open up a random shop revolving around bicycles/clothes/music/art, I want to learn about photography, I want to ultimately live a life where all of these Wants are part of my daily routine. One of my greatest fear is to fail at finding a career that I enjoy doing everyday (I’m hoping it can have something to do with my degree, but it doesn’t have to) and end living off my parents til I’m 30. Everybody wants to follow their “ideals” but I guess the message that I interpreted from the lyric is to stay focued on the things you want the most. There’s going to be a lot of cool s***, as well as bulls***, along the way so don’t get sidetracked otherwise you’ll “lose your way” feeling like the time it took for you to get to where you want is “forever”. It makes sense in my head. Basically, just work hard for your goal. And if you have more than one goal (like myself & everybody else), prioritize! Whew. Now, check this: Amber by 311 is playing now and I have some sense of peace and hope for myself. I know this song is about a girl but whatever, I’m gonna use this line for the sake of this post: “Nothing good comes easily, sometimes you’ve got to fight”. I tend to monku a lot when things don’t go the way I envisioned it to be.
We just gotta keep on keepin’ on.
just for laughs. okamura cracks me up
awesome dj + awesome dancer + awesome location = !!!